As you watch your 10 week old Westie puppy playing around the floor, trying to untie your shoe laces or standing on his hind legs to reach higher for a pat, you don’t think of his old age, and his final days. That may be 10 - 15 years down the road. There will be times when such thoughts will cross your mind as reminders that future events are better handled if serious consideration is given to concrete planning. The key to all planning for death and dying of a family member, be it human or pet is to know yourself. I suggest that as you read this article through, you jot down your reactions, feelings, and questions as they come to you. This will help you determine what your course of planning might be.

Recognizing the signs of aging

The signs of approaching old age are much the same for our Westies as they are for us. Dogs are generally considered to be ‘old’ by the time they’re 6 - 7. However, for smaller breeds like Westies, ‘old’ doesn’t show up before about age 9. As with people, the physical health - nutritious food, exercise and weight control - have a huge bearing on age related symptoms. Aging signs are most noticeable first in eyes, ears, teeth, and joints. The most easily detected problems are with the teeth as a quick look inside can tell the story. Keeping up the dental care at home as well as any dentistry done at the vet’s office can eliminate any serious threat on that front. Eye degeneration is not obvious to the pet owner until Topper is banging into things or not catching the treat the way he used to. Such signs need to be vet-checked to determine the exact causes in order to slow down further degeneration. Hearing loss is similar in that it sneaks up on you. Suddenly you’ll notice he doesn’t respond to being called, or doesn’t react to a familiar sound like the car in the driveway. Older joints don’t let the dog get up from bed as quickly as he used to or walk and run with the smooth quick gait you’re used to seeing. Other signs include lack of appetite or needing to go outside much more often. One sign of aging we tend not to think of with pets is senility or mental confusion. Some old dogs show this aging symptom by such behaviour as sitting facing the garage door waiting to be let in , thinking it’s the back door of the house. When any of these things happen, it’s time for a visit to the Vet who will run a series of tests and give you the full picture.

Whether your dog can look forward to a long old age or a short one, your understanding of the Vet report and advice are crucial. Ask questions no matter how silly they may sound, and make the appropriate preparations. See the article on Caring for a Sick Westie at Home on our Website.

A common reaction to being told that the dog has a short time to live is to do nothing, thinking nature will take its course. Nature will ‘take its course’, but the outcome for your pet will be more than likely not what you would choose. You are in control here, and can decide how much nursing you can or want to do, how much pain you want the pet to bear, and what quality of life he can have under the circumstance. If pain can be well controlled you have the chance to spend some special time with him, doing what he enjoys within his capabilities such as walks around the yard, or just being in your lap while you watch TV.

Burial options

When a pet dies, the traditional way was to bury him under the apple tree in the back yard with all the preceding family pets. However, in most cities and towns there are now by-laws prohibiting this as it is felt to be a possible health concern. Check with your municipal government office to get the specific law as it applies in your area.

While burial of a body is prohibited, burial of ashes is not. Your city office or your Vet can put you in touch with those who do pet cremations. Some crematories have pet cemeteries attached. Keeping the ashes in an urn in your home is also an option. The SPCA and Humane Societies often offer cremation services too. Another decision is whether you want your dog cremated as part of a group, or individually. In part it depends on cost, as group cremation is less expensive, and, if you want the ashes returned to you.

The return containers start with a plain paperboard box and go through various qualities of ceramic urn, some plain, some decorated, and to wood or metal containers. Individual cremations with plain paperboard box run around $100. A plain ceramic urn adds $10 - $20, with the fancier urn somewhat more. Some services supply, included in the price, a small brass plaque on a chain to hang on the urn. They will also engrave it for you. Hand crafted boxes at $50 are coming on the market. Some can have a laser picture of your dog, or a poem added. For each addition, the price goes up. In the U.S.A. , pet cremations, funerals, cemeteries, urns etc. are a flourishing business. Here in Canada similar services are found in our larger metropolitan centres. However, all prices will vary depending on the geographical location. The turn-around time for the ashes to be returned runs around two weeks.

Pet funeral and burial service and products can be accessed on the Web using your search engine, but as with human funeral services, don’t let yourself be stampeded into either spending more than you want to or doing anything you find uncomfortable. Making plans before you’re involved in the emotion of the situation will insure the greatest comfort to all concerned.

‘The Day’

When the appointed time is at hand, make the last preparations. Take a couple of towels with you. The old and the sick appreciate the warmth, and can also be incontinent. If you use a crate, make a towel ‘nest’ inside to cushion against sudden stops. Just before you’re out the door, call the Vet Clinic and tell them you are on your way. A staff person will then be on the look out, meet you at the door of the Clinic, and steer you to a private space in a consulting room. This avoids standing around in a crowded waiting room with the tears streaming down your face.

The Vet will come and talk with you, perhaps take the dog and put in an intravenous device and then return him to your lap. The Vet will stay with you and ask when you’re ready. There will be no struggle. Place your hand on the dog’s heart and talk to him. He’ll hear your voice to the end. With one of our dogs, my husband fed him raw peas while I held him in my arms. He loved peas more than any other food. The death is instant. You’ll feel the heart stop, and you can then spend a little time alone with the body if you wish. The Vet will then take the body, remove the intravenous and if you’re having the cremation done elsewhere, return the body to you wrapped in one of the towels you brought with you. There will be minimal paper work at the end. The cost of euthanasia depends on the weight of the animal. For a Westie size dog it runs about $75.

Grieving

Grieving is never exactly the same for everybody, but there are healthy ways to manage it. How intense the grief is for the lost pet depends on your personality, and the relationship you had with him. Some people look on a dog as a piece of property and although they took good care of him, they didn’t invest the energy to get to know him as an individual. Their grief will be different than for the person who spent a lot of time training, playing and enjoying close companionship with the dog. Then there are those for whom the pet was a substitute for a human family member. Regardless of the depth of grief, it is very helpful to be able to tell interested people how you feel, and to share your stories about him.

This 6 ½ urn is the product of a professional pet cremation business. Westie tag not included.

This is an excellent healing method. The feelings connected with grief whether it is guilt, loneliness or depression must find expression. Keeping grief inside only intensifies the pain while a well worked through grief leaves you feeling strong, relaxed and able to enjoy the memories. There is no specific time by which you will ‘get over’ the grief. Grief comes and goes in waves, but time will heal you while never obliterating the memories you cherish.

Children

How do I involve the children? What do I tell them? Most dogs grow old slowly and this is a blessing, especially to children. It takes the shock factor out of sudden death. Children are told to ‘play gently, his joints hurt him’, or ‘make sure he knows you’re there before you touch him as he doesn’t see or hear like he did when he was young’. Children can also be made aware of the change of food from ‘adult’ to ‘senior’. If they’re old enough they can accompany you on the routine trips to the Vet. All this gives them a sense of mortality and of the new ways they can show consideration and love to ‘Topper’.

Children will ask questions. Above all, don’t lie to them. You don’t have to go into vivid details. You also shouldn’t use the ‘stiff upper lip’ routine. Sadness and tears are a part of life, and children need to know that what happens at the end of life is not anybody’s fault. They need to know that there are things they can do to make the pet happy and help him live longer. They need to know what is life threatening and what is not, and how ailments can be eased. Talk with your children and let them know that you too are sad; he’s old and will someday die but that you wouldn’t want to have missed the enjoyment of his sharing his life with you.

Whether your children accompany you to the Vet on the last day is a very delicate and individual choice - depending on the child and the dog’s relationship to each other, and the maturity of the child. If you decide to go that route, and take the child with you, have another adult along. Feel free to cry with the child and let the child leave with the accompanying adult at any time during the process.

Children often would like to do something for the pet after it dies. A service of celebration of his life. Children are good at planning such events - writing a song, putting pictures they’ve made in the grave, planting a special tree for him. It’s there that the image of the ‘rainbow bridge’ comes in. In recent years, people have come to feel the need to express some spiritual feeling in regard to pet animals. The image of the ‘rainbow bridge’ fills this need. It offers a mental picture of the pet waiting with other pets in a beautiful place for you and then accompanying you across this bridge into whatever spiritual realm you envision. This image is also a useful way to help children solidify their belief that their pet has not simply evaporated.

To ‘replace’ or not to ‘replace’

After a pet dies, someone is bound to ask “When are you getting a replacement?” The word ‘replace’ means to ‘take the place of’. However, when we talk of a child born after one child has died, we don’t talk of the later child as replacement for the one who died. The same is true of pets. Westies look alike, being white and of very similar size. However, each is a different personality. They are no more alike than people are alike, so that no one Westie can ‘replace’ another Westie. Some think it would be disloyal to get a puppy after the old Westie has died. I’d rather think of getting a new puppy as a tribute to the loving strong relationship I had with the old one, which makes me love and enjoy the breed.

The timing of a new pup is an individual thing. Your lifestyle must be reassessed to insure the youngster will fit in. Take the necessary time for grieving and assess when you and your family feel comfortable with the desire for a new puppy. Then you’ll know it’s time to start looking.

Author: Anne Matheson
Originally published in the Westie News, Spring 2005

Useful link:

Pet loss support : A gentle and compassionate website for pet lovers who are grieving over the death of a pet or an ill pet.